


Misunderstood

by Dracolovesharryfightme



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: #cried so hard, #i actually love it, #i apologize in advance, #i regret it, #so angsty, Heavy Angst, Hogwarts Eighth Year, I Made Myself Cry, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Original Character(s), Sad Ending, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 17:00:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19749964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dracolovesharryfightme/pseuds/Dracolovesharryfightme
Summary: So this is my second angst work, I'm hoping it's good :)-•• trigger warning: slight mention of suicide at the end ••





	Misunderstood

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my second angst work, I'm hoping it's good :)  
> -  
> •• trigger warning: slight mention of suicide at the end ••

As the train stopped, Harry looked at the castle. His last year in Hogwarts will be the worst, as everyone called the war veterans who came back to school ' 8th years', their treatment was special. But Harry and Ron wasn't even enjoying or feeling it.

The first week of September passed. Dorms we're assigned, 4 guys in each dorm. No matter their respective houses. Luckly Harry dormed with the rest of his squad, Ron, Dean and Seamus. And Neville was in the dorm next door with a hufflepuff called Hayden Deluca, and a ravenclaw named Justin Chambers. They had one empty bed for a forth dormmate who'll join them sooner or later. No one had a clue who he might be.

Harry was empty, he was grey. All the losses in the war still affected him, but one death in particular was what haunted him the most, the sight of her emotionless lifeless body, the sound of her screaming as she fell to the ground, Ron's heartbreak. All still haunted him whenever he closes his eyes.

The loss of Hermione along with the war made the two boys change, they changed drastically. No more trouble making, or dangerous adventures. Harry Potter the boy who lived twice never leaves his dorm anymore, because if he did, he sees her everywhere, in every corridor, and in every corner. Despite the fact that he only attended his last year because he knew that Hermione would want him to, he did it to honor her, and so did Ron.

As for the rest of the students, everything was going well. New friendships were made, and new relationships were established. People were making the most of their last year and it shows.

Late at night Harry laid in his bed, wide awake, but when he doze off, the sounds of war, The flashes of spells, The crys of families who lost their loved ones. The first glimpes of his best friend lying still. And the loss of Fred. Remus' lifeless body as it lays next to Sirius' And Tonks'. Sirius and Remus' baby was his now, after his parents death, along with his birth mother. All he sees is the mess he made when he could've just went to Voldemort and let him kill him instead.

" Harry! Harry wake up! " The voice of Seamus made Harry jump in his place as he woke up.

" I did it again, didn't I ? " Harry said in a sad sigh. Seamus placed a hand in his shoulder and nodded sadly.

" You know that it's not your fault at all right ? " Seamus said. Trying his best to comfort his friend.

" But it is. If I just died instead of starting a war, no one would've died. Not Remus not Sirius. Not Tonks. Not Fred. Not Hermione- " Harry choked out with a sob as he named the people he lost, he continued " - everyone would've been happy, And alive if I weren't".

" Harry, their deaths weren't your fault at all. They chose to fight with you. And Hermione, her death was not your fault at all. You didn't Kill her. Malfoy did, and now he's in Azkaban for it" Seamus said. While Harry's mind drifted off to the sight of malfoy bent over Hermione's body before they arrived.

" What time is it ? " Harry said changing the subject. Trying to get his mind of it. Seamus checked his watch and told him.

" It's 4 am. Still early. Dean and Ron are sleeping. Hayden is awake next door if you want company. I think I'll go back to sleep, alright ? " Seamus stretched and yawned as he talked. Harry nodded and grabbed his broom and left their dorm, headed to Hayden's room and knocking softly.

" Come in! " A distance whisper from the other side of the door was heard. So Harry walked in the quite dorm only to find Hayden laying on his stomach, his torso exposed as he worked on his potions essay, Harry blushed.

" Um hey Hayden, I couldn't sleep, care to join me in the quidditch pitch?" Harry spoke awkwardly, because of the shirtless italian wizard looking at him, he cursed his bisexuality. 

" Sure Potter, just give me a second, You can head there. I'll follow" Hayden smiled, so charming. Then harry nodded and left, going to the pitch. As soon as he got there, he mounted his broom and sped throw the brisk air of the dawn.

While harry flew around in the air, he spotted Hayden sitting at the pitch and watching him. Harry smiles and so did Hayden. Harry demounted his broom and sat next to him and started a conversation.

" Why are you still awake Deluca ? " Harry said, playing with the hem of his hoodie awkwardly. Not used to talk to Hayden.

" I was doing some homework and I got carried away, how about you ?" Hayden replied with a shrug to compliment his sentence.

" Just couldn't sleep, Not a big deal" Harry shrugged it off too. Then took a look at Hayden's face. Tan skin and dark hair just like his, But not as messy. And chocolate brown eyes. Shining as the sun starts to rise.

" Harry ? " Hayden called again when Harry didn't answer him cause he was so intrigued by Hayden's beauty.

" Hmm ? Sorry I zoned out, what were you saying ? " Harry mumbled snapping out of his thoughts.

" I said do you still get flashes from the war ? I lost both my sisters and my father then. And I can't stop thinking about them" Hayden repeated what he said before and sighed. He and his mother were all alone now.

" All the time. I sometimes see them in front of me. All of them" Harry murmured, still audible, his head held low and his speech thick with sorrow.

" I saw you at the war you know, when you died then didn't die, I don't know. But I almost broke down too. It was painful to see you like that" Hayden spoke and moved closer to him. His hands on Harry's shoulder.

" I didn't want to come back to life. I wish I didn't live to see her die" Harry said. Looking at the sun as it starts to rise. Sending a warm glow over his and Hayden's faces, making the italian wizard looks even more beautiful. 

" Harry you saved everyone. Stop hating yourself for the ones you unfortunately couldn't save" Hayden said softly. Squeezing Harry's shoulder.

" Hayden I lost my best friend. And my only father figures. And lost my father and mother because of those wars. And now I have a war orphan as my godson. He's gonna grow up hating the world he lives in for his parents fate too. Not even his birth mum survived. They all died. And why ? They died trying to save me." Harry said and a tear slipping down his cheek.

With a soft hand, Hayden wiped Harry's tears and said " don't cry harry please, they chose to fight with you, they loved you, and you owe them one thing, just one, do you know what it is ? "

" No.. what is it ? " Harry sniffled and spoke, barely audible, Hayden smiled sadly.

" Make them proud, make them happy, cherish their memories Harry, instead of just drowning in sorrow and pain, will you do it for them ? " Hayden held both Harry's hands as he talked, tears in Harry's eyes making them glossy and heart wrenching, obvious sadness reflecting through.

Harry hummed and unconsciously snuggled closer to Hayden, and just sat there, until he fell asleep to Hayden's heart beats accidentally.

Hayden smiled fondly and carried Harry in his arms to his dorm, walking in slowly trying not to wake up Ron or anyone else, Hayden layed Harry in his bed and covered him with the blanket, then headed to his own dorm to sleep for an hour or so before breakfast.

-  
" It's all your fault "

" You're a murderer"

" They died because of you"

" You're worthless "

" You're nothing but a failure "

Harry's head kept spinning as words echoed in his mind. His breaths getting heavier and almost gone. The sound of his mother's screams filled his head, Remus, Sirius, Hermione, Everyone we're looking at him. Blaming him.

The walls are closing tight around him. No one to cry to, no one is there for him, everyone died in front of him, everything is his fault.

" HARRY!! " A voice snapped him back to reality, Ron sitting on his bed, grabbing him from both his shoulders and shaking him awake.

Harry flinched when reality hit him again, another nightmare, he sighed sadly and threw himself into his best friend's arms. Silent tears spilling from his tired dull eyes as Ron kept soothing him.

" This will end Harry, you'll be fine again, _we_ will be fine one day, it's okay " Ron choked out a small cry as he soothed his only best friend, both guys mentally and emotionally drained from the pain they're going through.

-  
A week later the whole great Hall was full of chatter about the student who just joined the term due to his time in Azkaban, everyone stared and talked about the vile human, no- _creature_ called Draco Malfoy, who was imprisoned after killed Hermione the day of the war.

Draco kept it all to himself and talked to no one. Spending most of his time in his dorm with his bed curtains closed, and relying on sleeping potions and silencing charms to hide his misery.

He felt mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood, no one knew the truth before judging and hating him for something he didn't purposely do.

Hope was seeping through his hands, little by little until he had nothing left, he didn't hold on to anything anymore, nothing was worth it to him. No love, no passion, no happiness, no future, nothing will make him feel alive anymore.

Late at night, as the thoughts and ideas haunted Draco, he heard his dorm mates laughing and joking together at the dorm next door. Leaving him drowning in his feelings.

Not that Draco expected to be forgiven for the accident he caused, he just wanted to be heard, he wanted to be understood.

As the clock ticked and the time passed, Draco gave up to sleep after days of laying awake with no signs of rest he could get, -forgetting his potions and spells and just falling into a not so peaceful slumber.

Meanwhile at the dorm nextdoor, where five Gryffindors, a Hufflepuff and a ravenclaw all gathered on the floor chatting and just being themselves. Where Hayden sat with his back to Harry's bed, and Ron sat on his right, next to dean and Seamus who were all cuddled up, Justin chamber, the ravenclaw, and Neville we're engaged in heating debate discussing herbology, while Ron harry and Hayden talked quidditch.

Harry found himself lighter and less stressed around his friends, especially Hayden so he laid his head on his shoulder and kept talking about nothing and everything, until the time was getting a little late than expected so Justin and Neville headed back to their dorm ready to bed. While dean and Seamus just climbed up on one of their beds they usually share, leaving Ron, Harry and Hayden on the floor talking.

" Guys I'm going to bed, it was good chatting with you " Harry yawned and climbed into his own bed, and Just before he was about to drift into a hopefully good night sleep. Ron offered something weird.

" Hayden you could bunk here, I'll take your bed next door it's alright" the red head suggested, and Hayden almost nodded, but remembered who he's bunking with next door. And he thought that it wasn't the best idea to let Ron sleep with the one who killed his girlfriend in the same dorm. So he shook his head instead.

" Uh.. you know who's my dorm mate right ? I don't think it's a good ide-" when Hayden was about to protest, Ron cut him off, nodding.

" I'll just go to sleep or read a book. It won't be a problem. You can stay here with Harry if you'd like " Ron smiled a little and Hayden gave in and nodded.

Ron looked at the confused harry and laughed quitely then took a book he was reading the night before and headed to Hayden's dorm, but before sleeping on Ron's bed, Hayden climbed into Harry's bed, kisses his cheek and silently went to bed.

While Ron laid on Hayden's bed reading what was Hermione's favorite book, he heard small sobs coming from somewhere in the Room.

" I didn't- I'd never kill " small whispers confused Ron, so he closed the book and set it on the night stand next to him, and kept listening as the whispers continue.

" It was meant for Lucius, I- I'd never do something that'll hurt him.. I- I love him. It was an accident.. please believe me" the whispered that obviously turned out to be Malfoy's continued, with more of a sob as he stuttered.

Ron felt more emotions than he could describe, pity, loathing, confusion, guilt, and more emotions that he tried to detect it's source.

A few minutes passed by and Malfoy's sobs kept Ron awake, thinking about what will happen, should he talk to him? Should he tell harry ? Should he act like it never happened ? The right choice wasn't clear for Ron, so he decided to sleep it off instead.

As he started to drift to sleep, Malfoy said something that changed his plans completely. He heard the one and only Malfoy say in the most heartbeaking way ever.

" I'm sorry, I want to tell him and Weasley how sorry I am.. I didn't mean to hurt them.. just let him know I'm sorry.. please.. tell him I loved him.. tell him I didn't mean it.. tell both of them that I'm sorry" the sobs died down eventually. But the things he said echoed in Ron's head as he fell asleep.

The morning was difficult for Draco, especially after realizing that he forgot his potions and charms that night and probably someone heard him. So instead of facing reality, he escaped it by hiding himself in the abandoned astronomy tower and skipping all his lessons. He just sat there in silence, sketching in his notebook or staring at nothing, drowning in his thoughts, until a familiar but dreaded redhead walked in.

" Malfoy.. " Ron called trying to catch his attention, and Instead of turning around and facing him, Draco mumbled a " sorry " while looking at the sky as the sun sat slowly.

" Do you love Harry? " Ron blurted out of no where, making Draco jump and almost fall from the tower.

" You heard me last night... " Draco finally turned around, not meeting Ron's eyes at all.

" Yeah.. and I want to talk to you" Ron stepped closer and sat right next to him. Draco flinched but stayed still when Ron continued talking.

" I want you to tell me what _actually_ happened that day.. wh-when she died.. " Ron swallowed a lump in his throat as he talked.

Flash backs were all Malfoy could see.. he saw it all once again, he saw how he killed a girl that meant a lot to people, and especially the one he loved. He remembered his cold skin when he touched her arm after seeing her fall to the floor. And Harry's look, his face as he held his best friend's body in front of him..

shivers coated his skin as he gathered all the courage and strength he had and looked at Ron's eyes then said " I pointed my wand at Lucius, but a spell got sent my way as I casted, and I avoided it, so my spell went astray and hit H-Hermione instead. I didn't mean to, I'd never hurt anyone like this, I can't.. I'm not a killer"

Ron took a shaky breath, and looked at Draco. Face already stained with tears and eyes dull and glassy. Ron then spoke slowly " Malfoy.. _I forgive you_ "

Draco looked stunned and he stumbled over his words as he said " y-you forgive me ? Like a-actual _forgiveness._ "

" Malfoy it's obvious how sorry you are. I'm willing to accept that it was an accident after all. But I don't know about Harry.. I don't think he will forgive you at all" Ron said and stood up to leave.

" Weasley wait! " Draco stood after him, and Ron turned back. Draco started talking with tears in his eyes.  
" I don't deserve this, your forgiveness Weasley, I was wrong about you, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for everything I did"

Ron just nodded and left to dinner. His chest feels a lot lighter, and before his own mind could judge him for what he did, he said to himself as he walked towards the great Hall ' it was the right thing to do, hermione would have told me to do exactly what I did, I shouldn't feel guilty about it, it was nothing but an accident'

Harry's face beamed when he saw his best mate enters the hall and steps closer to the gryffindor table where he has his meals daily. And sat next to Harry.

" Where were you mate ? I looked everywh- " Harry started rambling only to get hit in the face with fact that Ron blurted out.

_" Malfoy loves you "_

Harry's face lost all colors. And his eyes widened along with his jaw that dropped in shock.

" Are you delusional ? What the hell do you mean ? " Harry asked, confused to no point and shocked. Shocked to the point that he didn't acknowledge anything around them anymore.

" I mean he talks in his sleep, I mean I heard him, I mean that everything was an accident" Ron said flat out.

" But Ron we saw him, he was right next to her b-body.. he killed her.. how could he claim that he loves me if he killed my best friend, explain!!"  
Harry snapped in frustration at Ron held him by both shoulders.

" I talked to him Harry, he cries in his sleep because of what he had done, maybe you should talk to him- " before Ron could continue his suggestion Harry exploded, and screamed loudly that the whole hall looked at him.

" I LOVED HIM!!. I THOUGHT WE WILL BE TOGETHER AFTER THE FUCKING WAR. BUT I SAW HIM WITH MY EYES KILLING MY BEST FRIEND. AND YOU STILL EXPECT ME TO TALK TO HIM?!! HAVE YOU GONE MAD ?!! " Harry screamed then stormed out of the hall, leaving all students and staff stunned by what happened.

And as Harry walked out to his dorm all alone. He saw the one person he didn't need to see. " H-Potter... " Malfoy called after him when he stormed by.

" What the fuck do you want??!! You still have the nerve to talk to me ? " Harry stopped and walked back towards Draco.

" I- I wanted to tell you what actually happened.. I- you deserve the truth.. let me at least redeem myself one last time.. " Draco choked out, his head held low and his voice trembling as he talked to Harry, The only one Dracon has truly loved and lost..

" There's nothing left to say Malfoy, nothing.. " Harry tried to sound as strong as he could possibly be, by his voice failed him and cracked with a small sob.

" I- I didn't kill her Harry, please, it was an accident please hear me out" Draco pleaded his eyes are as glassy as Harry's.

" Malfoy don't you understand? You didn't just kill her, I died when she did.. you killed me Draco.. you're took her away and took my soul along with her.. I-I thought the love we had was enough to keep us from the ugly truth that we're in the middle of a war.. but I guess I thought wrong.. after all, we were made to break " Harry cried, filled with pain and regret, then walked away slowly, wanting to hear a word just once again..

" _I love you Harry Potter_ "

That was it.. Draco said what Harry wanted to hear once again.. then both went off their separate ways,. Harry headed to the quidditch pitch, while Draco walked to his dorm, the bathroom to be specific.

Two hours passed, then Ron came to the pitch to get Harry, without a word except ' follow me ' he took the brunette to their dorms. And handed him a note, the familiar neat handwriting wasn't the only thing that broke Harry down, as he read the note over and over again..

_Dear Harry Potter,_

_I hurt you, I know I did and I can't be any more sorry, you died when she did.. so I thought 'why do I get to live?' maybe this will be enough to show you how sorry I am.. but it won't make a difference anymore.. since when you're reading this I'll be already gone.. I was misunderstood and neglected for my whole life, and I thought that maybe you'll find it in your heart to at least let me redeem myself one last time, to let me explain all what happened, I was wrong.. but Harry I want you to know one thing. I loved you once and I never stopped.._

_Goodbye.._  
_Draco Malfoy_  
_-_


End file.
